Parenting Through Helene: Six Things I’m Grateful For (…and glad will be gone soon)
Water came back on at my house and I can’t tell you the relief it brought. Until the brown tinted liquid came spilling out of my shower head late last night, I was unaware of just how much my cognitive and emotional functioning was impacted by the lack of running water to my home.
Like many of you, I’m no stranger to roughing it. In our family we camp, backpack, and travel in places where the water is not potable.
But this was different. In the aftermath of Hurricane Helene, like parents all around Western North Carolina, I was utterly focused on meeting basic needs for myself and my family.
With the running water, something inside me shifted. For the first time in weeks I’m able to take stock, reflect, and let go of some of the burden I’ve carried.
And as that burden eases, I’m also intensely aware of how lucky I am. My challenges were mere inconveniences in comparison to those who lost businesses, property, homes, and lives. But still, parenting through a natural disaster, even in the best of circumstances, poses many challenges.
What follows is a list of items from the past few weeks that I’m forever grateful for because they helped me provide for my family’s basic needs.
They are also items that I hope not to see again anytime soon, if ever.
1. Flush Water
Thank you neighbors! I’m so grateful to the folks that got this system set up. I’ll miss sending my three boys on their daily bucket-filling run. But it is so nice not to have to worry about flushing the toilet!
2. FEMA Showers
What sweet relief to step inside the metal container and come out like a new person. My thoughts made sense again, traffic felt less overwhelming, sentences were finished. I also won’t miss the drive, the line, and the hair in the drain.
3. Unstructured Time
Here’s my attempt at creating some structure without WIFI or electricity: the old fashioned way on a piece of paper (probably to candle light). As you can see, the schedule never really got filled in; instead, we floated through days, with the kids running circles around us and complaining about being bored (hashtag no wifi).
So we took them to volunteer. We asked them to help. We made the best of it. But the lack of structure and disruption of daily routines took its toll on my nervous system.
I’ve been having flashbacks to Covid lock-down days.
I look forward to getting back to our ‘normal’ schedule, even as I savor these less scheduled days as opportunities to connect with self, family, and community.
4. Hurricane Helene Kitchen Clutter
Paper plates, metal tins for casseroles, water jugs. All so necessary. But I can’t wait to clean this [sh*@] up!
5. Boxed Water
After living and traveling in Mexico and Central America for extended periods, I do not take for granted my family’s access to clean, safe drinking water.
Even so, these past three weeks have made me think about families in places like Flint, Michigan (where their water system was poisoning citizens) and the Navajo Reservation (where families sometimes drive hundreds of miles for fresh, potable water).
I know how lucky I am to not have to worry about my boys getting sick from drinking the water out of our kitchen faucet.
This is all just to say–I’m really grateful for these boxes of water.
(But I look forward to when my kitchen trash is no longer full of their empty bottles.)
6. Press Briefing on the Radio
This radio saved us. For the first seven days post storm when the electricity was out, our ability to power it using a hand held crank and batteries kept us connected, informed, and able to locate basic resources.
But I won’t miss the fuzzy sad sound and the tired voices of the local government officials. I won’t miss trying to listen so that I know when and where fresh water can be found or how to apply for FEMA disaster relief. I look forward to music in the kitchen again and a sense of a broader world out there.
What I Want To Keep
I moved to Asheville two and half years ago from a community that I was embedded in–my mom and older sister (and all her kids) live there, my husband and I met there, and our three boys were all born there. Let’s just say – I knew everyone and everyone knew me.
Moving to Asheville has been great in so many ways and it’s been hard. I have missed that sense of community and connection.
But with Helene came immediate community; people stopped and talked in the street, just to check in. Parents down the block knocked on my door asking if my kids could run around with theirs. People shared resources, checked on each other, helped each other out in incredible ways.
This sense of interdependence, commitment to helping each other, and belief in the basic goodness of humanity are all things I’m going to hold onto.
Reach Out
If you want to connect, share a Hurricane Helene story, or just have a person to talk to, please reach out. I am back at my office on Chestnut Street, helping clients recover, repair, and reset.
I’m also working with the North Carolina Chapter of the National Association of Social Workers to provide pro bono therapy sessions for folks who need immediate support post Helene but who don’t have the resources to pay for therapy. You can find out more here: Mental Health Provider List: Help Those Impacted by Hurricane Helene – National Association of Social Workers NC Chapter
If you or someone you love might benefit from professional counseling, you can schedule a free 15 minute consultation on my website here: dellapope.com.